I want to take the time to mention something I rarely see spoken of or discussed in any sort of depth. As caring individuals, we all carry weight for the people we care for. Within some days and some relationships, this weight may seem manageable, perhaps even non-existent, but it is still present, slight and unnoticeable as it may be.
Caring for another person demands a certain amount of energy, time, mental and emotional capacity, and acknowledgment of the cost associated with caring.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not about to ask you to stop caring for people around you or to start cutting people out of your life. That is not my call nor my ask. What I am asking of you is simply to take stalk of the weight you have been carrying. Maybe that weight has been there for a month, a season, a year, or a lifetime.
Consider the conversations you have held in the quiet moments of a day between two people listening to one another, vulnerably sharing, and listening to each other. Consider the worries, joys, hopes, and tears that these conversations may have brought you.
Again my intent here is not to be bleak.
I ask you to consider all these things because the more we understand ourselves, where we are at, and our capacity to listen, share, and empathize with the people we care for, the more authentic and life-changing that care will be.
It is not about being perfect or having all the answers. But it is about showing up, listening, caring, laughing, cheering, encouraging, and fostering growth in places previously overlooked in the lives of others.
As caring people, we can get tired and discouraged. Does that sound familiar? Perhaps it is describing a current state for you. That is OKAY!
The more we understand our reality, capacity, and direction, the sooner we can take steps to heal, rest, and return. The single most important thing we can do as caring individuals is care for ourselves. We are not meant to work through burnout or do two people’s jobs. We are meant to make a difference and to care – it starts with us. It begins by recognizing our limits, setting boundaries, and modeling a healthier work/ life environment for the youth we see.
My encouragement is this. Take stock of your current capacity and adjust where necessary.
The weight we carry is not there to drag us off course or pull us under the waves. I see it as a reminder of the people who have shared clear and defining moments of their stories with me and thus invited me into a place of great honor and responsibility.
