Have you ever visited a therapist, counselor, or other helping professional? Semi-rhetorical in nature, this question can bring up many questions for us. That is okay.
This is a tricky question to answer, to sit with, and to consider asking. Although I don’t think it should be, I get the emotional and convoluted sentiments that are attached to such a question and its answer.
I would like to share a thought I have held and nurtured for over a decade in the helping professions.
Helpers need help; all therapists should have a therapist or any other variation of that idea. Simply put, if you are an individual who cares for, listens to, and spends time partially carrying the mental load of others, then you, too, need someone to talk to. It is not about getting to the point of burnout before reaching out for help; if we continue to wait until the signs and symptoms of mental or emotional unhealth have piled up around us, the individuals we hope to care for will not adequately be positioned to find healing.
Whether that help looks formal or informal, there needs to be a safe place to unload some of the weight picked up through your care. Suppose this weight is taken upon yourself or passed off to you as a means of helping another person it should always be consensually understood. The weight is not meant to take you down with it, nor is it meant to burden those you share it with.. The more comfortable we get with the idea of mental load, and it is shared amongst the community and caring individuals, the better we will be at helping. Therefore our children, youth, and families will be honoured and respected in new and holistic ways.
I have regularly asked individuals I am interviewing what resources and who their care network consists of. The follow-up to that question is always, “Are you able to stay connected with them during your time of employment here?” and “How can I best support that relationship?”
Summer Camp can be an exciting career in the way that we live alongside each other for extended periods. This, however, does not limit any one person’s ability to reach outside of the staff team or property to find support, especially in the age of technology where meeting safely and confidentially online is easier and more accessible than ever!
As we, the leaders, continue to feel the weight of the last few years, let us remember we are not alone in it, and the staff, children, and youth we care about so deeply are not a means to an end. If we are unable to care for ourselves well, it is not a matter of if but when we will no longer be able to care for others.
So, talk to someone. Talk to someone about talking to a therapist. Today, take a step in that direction. Assess the weight that you sit with at night, in the morning, or on the drive to work. Speak openly about it, and care for yourself in the process! Help erase the stigma of talking about the weight of caring for people. In caring, we feel the honour and responsibility fostered by intimate thoughts shared, vulnerable conversations, and life-changing epiphanies. These moments define the why behind our motives for helping. Again, simply put, one last time, helpers need help.
We can thrive and grow, but we can not do it alone.
Bradon Pihowich
Camp Certified
